Tuesday, January 12, 2016

For the Love of Tuesdays

Pin It Now!
Towards the end of last year I read a book called Simply Tuesday by Emily Freeman that’s all about finding meaning in our day to day - not just the events that are accompanied by fireworks and chapter headings. She uses the example of a Tuesday and how in a world where we ‘work for the weekend’ in so many senses, we forget about the Tuesdays in our lives; only dreading the Mondays and yearning for the Saturdays of this world. This truly hit home for me after I’d just finished a Bible study called Chase by Jennie Allen that had me wrestling over what it is that I was running after and why…

I find in my own life it’s natural for me to cry out to God in seasons of great loss and sorrow; seeking in Him for guidance and comfort knowing that He is the Almighty Healer. By contrast I also find it instinctive to praise Him for His goodness and favor in certain areas of my life when His provision seems evident (though, if I’m being honest, my pride ensures that this comes less easily than the former). I’ve really been challenged the last few months with focusing in on the middle of that swing – the every day, the mundane, the marbles in the middle of a Newton’s cradle that sit still while the highs and lows fly back and forth around them.

The deadlines, the commutes, the laundry, the doctor visits, and mealtime. The projects, the dishes in the sink, and the garage that needs organizing… If we could truly learn how to glorify God in these things, how different might our lives be?

I’ve been wanting to update my blog name for about a year or so now, but was never really able to come up with something that felt right. I wanted it to be more general – as this blog is full of writing, tutorials, recipes, and many other things I hesitated to put into a box – but I also wanted it to mean something. To somehow say something about my desire for the space.

The metaphorical ‘Tuesdays’ are the beautiful pieces of life I fear we (*I*) rush so insistently through and don’t stop for a moment to consider what God could be teaching me within them. On this Tuesday my prayers is that this new blog name will serve as a reminder to me, and possibly to you, to be mindful of our Tuesdays. The small brush strokes that together make up the brilliant works of Van Gogh. Each piece of a puzzle that helps create a stunning display. The individual droplets of water that alone feel insignificant but one by one make up an ocean – life is so full of small extraordinarily ordinary things, and I'm starting to learn that it's really not such a bad thing.

Saturday, October 31, 2015

Capture Your Grief, Day 31: Sunset

Pin It Now!
July 25, 2015 | Road Trip | Unknown, Texas

Day 31: Sunset

I began this project with a sunrise, remembering that scripture promises new mercies every day, joy with each morning, and a promise of a new beginning every day. Throughout the 'day' of this project I have followed a regiment of what I've taken to calling 'guided vulnerability' and have experienced community and healing from it; and as the sun sets on this 'day', this month, I am reminded of the verse by the psalmist that proclaims "From the rising of the sun to its setting The name of the LORD is to be praised." (Psalm 113:3). Just as the sun promises to rise and set day in and day out, we can know that it will do so in life as well, bookending the seasons in between...whether they last days, months, years, or lifetimes. As these 31 days come to a close I am reminded that this month has represented a road we've walked and will continue to walk for as long as the Lord wills, and that this day too will see a sunset; but that furthermore this road is one that should be full of praise. Sometimes that looks different than others, but praise - be it through laughter and bursting joy or through tears and overwhelming sorrow - is still praise, meant for his glory. We don't know how, we don't know when, but we know that scripture promises our grief will turn to joy and that in this pain something beautiful will be created (Isaiah 66:9). That doesn't always mean we will get what it is that we seek, it doesn't mean one day everything will right itself in our eyes...what it does mean is that God will continue to be faithful in healing our hearts, in giving us others to love and to serve if ever we are unable to become parents, in teaching us that He alone is enough. I truly believe fully that we will raise children, and I also have a specific peace in my heart that I will carry at least once...God is bigger than the hurdles we've faced, he is bigger than my unbelief on the days I am weary and unable to look forward, he is bigger than the circumstances we may find ourselves in. He is bigger. He is able. But even if not...Even if I look up in the night sky and my sunset looks different than I want, even if my journey travels uncomfortably far from where I'd planned, even if the sweet lips that call me mamma come later than I'd ever want, or never come at all...He is still good, he is to be Glorified.  In the sunrises and sunsets of this life it is he who we praise; and in the darkness that falls over our world in the hours between, it is from him we find our comfort. 

Friday, October 30, 2015

Capture Your Grief, Day 30: Reflection

Pin It Now!
Capture Your Grief | Sarah Robinson | 2015

Day 30: Reflection

Today is the day that I'm supposed to look back on the last month and reflect on all that it entailed. This month has been difficult for me and in a lot of ways has caused me to confront my emotions for better or worse. It has opened wounds in some areas and highlighted apathy in others. In certain cases it has shown me that I'm still not okay even though I expected to be; and that's hard to accept, hard to understand...hard to stomach and move forward from. This month I've had to learn how to show myself grace as many of you have encouraged and shared with me, and other times it's taught me to stand firm on where I am in this journey and not force myself to move any more slowly or quickly than I am able in that moment. This month has been a reflection itself in many ways as I've been able to share what God has been leading me through one day at a time. He has been so faithful in pulling me forward, step by step, in a way that has been so sovereignly orchestrated. I see his hand in the big events and the small moments in ways I before wasn't able, healing in the obvious as well as the ornate...This year, as painful as it's been and despite how much I've often questioned it, will be a year I know I will forever look back on and be grateful for in the way that it has and will continue to shape me. And this month as wonderful and difficult as it has simultaneously been, carries a similar outcome - a month of thought, of healing, and of reflecting on where I am. And I am grateful...I am grateful for those of you who have taken the time not just to read, but to go out of your way to bless me with your words, your hugs, your stories, and your encouragement. For thirty days you have in so many ways come alongside me as I've stood atop a cafeteria table, fidgeting with my fingers, staring at my feet, and sharing my innermost pains, fears, hopes, and dreams. For thirty days you have made it known to me that I am not alone. And in a season where I've had to learn to depend on God's love and comfort alone, seeing him use so many of you as his hands and feet has been humbling...It truly is amazing what thirty days can bring.