Day 19: Music
Music is such a powerful medium and has always been something that never fails to evoke emotion from me. The first time I heard the song Oceans by Hillsong United was after my brother and sister in law learned of my nieces condition. She would mention the song so often, and for whatever reason I'd just never heard it. After Savannah died they shared a video with this song playing in the background and as I listened to the words and watched my niece's life on the screen of my computer I was moved in a way I can't describe. I loved the song from that point forward, but began to lean on it more and more as Justin and my plans for parenthood unfolded in a way that was so different then we'd anticipated. "And I will call upon Your name, And keep my eyes above the waves. When oceans rise my soul will rest in Your embrace, For I am Yours and You are mine...Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders let me walk upon the waters wherever You would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith will be made stronger In the presence of my Savior" These words were and still are an anthem for my sister in her journey through loss, and it has forever touched the way the words cross my ears and have in turn made it an anchor for me in the waves of this journey as well. Many a time I have been driving and feeling 'perfectly fine' and find myself moments later weeping and in worship as I sit at a stop light while this plays over the radio. So much comes over me; not only am I overwhelmed by the message and the challenge of the song itself, but in so many ways I am encouraged as it floods my heart with love and memories of my niece and my family's journey with her. What we learned from her little life comes full circle back to my heart within seconds as I am then in turn reminded of how God leads us onto the water and promises to not let the waves overtake us.