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| Capture Your Grief | Sarah Robinson | 2015 |
Day 30: Reflection
Today is the day that I'm supposed to look back on the last month and reflect on all that it entailed. This month has been difficult for me and in a lot of ways has caused me to confront my emotions for better or worse. It has opened wounds in some areas and highlighted apathy in others. In certain cases it has shown me that I'm still not okay even though I expected to be; and that's hard to accept, hard to understand...hard to stomach and move forward from.
This month I've had to learn how to show myself grace as many of you have encouraged and shared with me, and other times it's taught me to stand firm on where I am in this journey and not force myself to move any more slowly or quickly than I am able in that moment. This month has been a reflection itself in many ways as I've been able to share what God has been leading me through one day at a time. He has been so faithful in pulling me forward, step by step, in a way that has been so sovereignly orchestrated. I see his hand in the big events and the small moments in ways I before wasn't able, healing in the obvious as well as the ornate...This year, as painful as it's been and despite how much I've often questioned it, will be a year I know I will forever look back on and be grateful for in the way that it has and will continue to shape me. And this month as wonderful and difficult as it has simultaneously been, carries a similar outcome - a month of thought, of healing, and of reflecting on where I am. And I am grateful...I am grateful for those of you who have taken the time not just to read, but to go out of your way to bless me with your words, your hugs, your stories, and your encouragement. For thirty days you have in so many ways come alongside me as I've stood atop a cafeteria table, fidgeting with my fingers, staring at my feet, and sharing my innermost pains, fears, hopes, and dreams. For thirty days you have made it known to me that I am not alone. And in a season where I've had to learn to depend on God's love and comfort alone, seeing him use so many of you as his hands and feet has been humbling...It truly is amazing what thirty days can bring.
This month I've had to learn how to show myself grace as many of you have encouraged and shared with me, and other times it's taught me to stand firm on where I am in this journey and not force myself to move any more slowly or quickly than I am able in that moment. This month has been a reflection itself in many ways as I've been able to share what God has been leading me through one day at a time. He has been so faithful in pulling me forward, step by step, in a way that has been so sovereignly orchestrated. I see his hand in the big events and the small moments in ways I before wasn't able, healing in the obvious as well as the ornate...This year, as painful as it's been and despite how much I've often questioned it, will be a year I know I will forever look back on and be grateful for in the way that it has and will continue to shape me. And this month as wonderful and difficult as it has simultaneously been, carries a similar outcome - a month of thought, of healing, and of reflecting on where I am. And I am grateful...I am grateful for those of you who have taken the time not just to read, but to go out of your way to bless me with your words, your hugs, your stories, and your encouragement. For thirty days you have in so many ways come alongside me as I've stood atop a cafeteria table, fidgeting with my fingers, staring at my feet, and sharing my innermost pains, fears, hopes, and dreams. For thirty days you have made it known to me that I am not alone. And in a season where I've had to learn to depend on God's love and comfort alone, seeing him use so many of you as his hands and feet has been humbling...It truly is amazing what thirty days can bring.
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